Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
