i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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