Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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