You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
