look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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