What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
