Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
