so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
