She said her name was "party"
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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