...so i touched it.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
