hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Randomize
