my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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