i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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