you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
