do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
