It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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