Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
