the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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