so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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