i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I love you.
Bad choice
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
