oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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