Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
