I must be too annoying 4 u.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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