my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
