You're completely useless in the revolution.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
