R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
we made out on top of his cat.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
