the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
