Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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