hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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