Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
sex in a hospital.. check
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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