My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
