girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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