Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
