Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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