you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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