Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We had to coat check the pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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