I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
