apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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