I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
me + whiskey = a bad person
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
