Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
