People in love make me want to vomit
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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