it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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