So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
