I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
