wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We need to rekindle our bromance
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
