Where did you get a picture of my penis
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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