Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
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so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
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WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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