Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Sacagawea was the original milf.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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