My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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