ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
