After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
