ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
