Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
