I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
