can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
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no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
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