Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
