I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
