STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
