I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
