the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
