...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
from now on my penis is your penis
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
