After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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