never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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