if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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