He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
