We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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