Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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