I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The adults are the big ones right?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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