so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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