a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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